penis resurrection

its always something with this car

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:17:36 GMT

FUCK I am so annoyed with this car! I just spend $800 fixing the muffler and new front breaks..now something else is wrong and its scary to drive. I can never win..I wanted to get myself a bike to go bike riding with jeff this summer..Now that looks like its not gonna happen I want cry but I will just look weak...its to stressful owning a car..especially a used one...I can't afford a new car either..I really am fucked right now..all the money I save goes to this car and food. thats it..nothing else.. Fuck this! I hate my car.

update and merry xmas/happy holidays!

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 02:08:26 GMT

Ok so yeah things haven't been going great..although I do tend to get stressed out about things I have no control over. so bleh i need to stop that. Anyways Today was hell..I was supposed tp be off of work today but I went in to help my co worker with the company inventory..needless to say we didn't get much done. Then it started to snow a lot. I left work at 4:30 and got home at 6:40..isn't that fucking special..I am so sick of it here..ya know..they never plow the damn roads fast enough. Salt? hmm seems like we aren't using much of that this year. I guess its not in our budget so i guess money is more important then people getting into accidents and sliding into eachother and fucking their cars up with ice and snow..Glad people care about eachother these days.

thank god I'm home and done with work for a little while..I'm gratefull for this job but wow its the most un organized stressfull gossipy job I've ever worked at...it drives me nuts and one of these days I'm afraid i'm going to walk out..but I need a back up plan for money first.

I hope everyone has a great chismahanukwanzika. :P and a happy new year!

well since everyone is saying something about it

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 22:51:01 GMT

Yes I am happy Obama Won..I really don't trust anyone to run our country..but frankly out of the two Obama was more intelligent and he didn't have Palin..who says "you betcha" a lot she just annoyed me and the SNL skits on her were so funny and true but a little exagerated. McAin would have just made the rich richer and thats bullshit. I don't talk a lot of politics I don't care as much as most..I just want the country to be run good and I want people to have jobs and I want the economy better. Esp Since Bush sucked so bad Ew omg what an idiot. I'm glad I voted for Obama..I'm just hoping he makes a good difference and doesn't fuck things up.. otherwise I will flip out.

Work was hell today, I threw my back out.. its spasming and its all because I lift things that are too heavy for me. Its funny how I am the smallest and weakest one and yet somehow other ppl are sitting on there chub asses at their desks I can't belive how hard I work for this fucked up company..its depsessing.

Today

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 05:29:37 GMT

so every saturday they have an adoption day at the petco by my house and adoption agencies come in and bring kitties and puppies in..usually I go on saturays to re stock kitty food (but its really to look at the animals up for adoption) and I think my boyfriend is on to me haha..so anyways there was so many puppies and I got really sad cause the looked just like my childhood dog smokey, they were german shepherd mix pups and I held one and I felt really sad..I almost started to cry.. If I had more money I would for sure adopt one..my god they are so cute.. UGH I can't stand my love for animals it gets worse as I get older..I just want to adopt and save every animal..I wish I was a billionaire and could afford all of them..

There was also a cat that looked just like neko about the same age and same size and I started to worry It was her brother and that he didnt get adopted and I started to cry lol god I'm pathethic. but I think it was a different rescue group and there are tons of cats who look the same. I just hope her brother got adopted when he was a kitten. I was so close to adopting both Neko and her brother but I couldn't afford it at the time..now I can with this job that I hate so damn much but whatever its better than my 7.15 an hour hallmark job..

Its been a while

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 02:23:50 GMT

I havn't posted in my own journal in a long long time..

So right now things are just ok..Work is so stressfull again as usual they like to stretch people as far as they can cause they don't want to hire more people(cheap ass fuckers) Things are so un orgainized around there..its very poorly run..lack of communication rude bitches, and idiots for bosses all aren't good for a fast growing company..we are sinking our selves cause we are growing so damn fast..I don't trust anything about this company at all..but its a job for now I NEED to find something closer I can't stand driving almost an hour there and back everyday I hope my little care lasts a lot longer..it has almost 123,000 miles in it..I need this car so bad..otherwise I'm screwed :(..I'm really worried about it but I'm trying not too. I'm so sick of all the drama at work..and for spending most of my life at work..it sure does feel like a waste of my days..with all the bitching all the, back stabbing its getting old and fast. At least one of us (out of jeff and I) likes their job..I am worried about our financials but who isn't these days..jeff says things are ok but not good so whatever..after christmas I am gonna save up a seperate account for him to help him out more..It will be hard but I feel like I should do as much as possible to help. I don't know what else to say..I can tell when im stressed cause I break out a little on my chin and i get so much anxiety I piss jeff off lol but he understands so phew. I just can't handle work its on my mind all the time except for most of the weekend sunday nights like this are difficult. I think I may leave early if I start to get too stressed out..If I leave an hour early so I loose 10 dollars big fucking deal. Its time for bed for me.

I hope everyone is doing well and being safe.:)

I don't want to work tommorow

Sun, 14 Sep 2008 17:11:23 GMT

I really hate a few ppl that I work with and everytime they are rude to me In my head i'm picturing a bullet going right through their fucking skulls and that gets me trough the day. I feel like my anger is coming back to how it was back in high school, wish ppl would die and etc....its hard when people are such pathethic bitches and all they do is make other lives miserable..it makes me sick. *ahem anyways I'm tired as hell. I am a little happy though cause in a few hours i'm gonna meet up with some old co-workers and eat with them although hallmark sucked ass as a job, the people I worked with rocked in both locations but this one was at 6 and farmington. Just fun people. It will be nice.

work is horrible!!

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 22:36:13 GMT

Today I was told we have a deadline(sept 5th) do get all this fucking shit together at work I think I'm going to die of anxiety attacks. After the 3 day weekend I have 3 fucking days to get all this done..try again you fucking pieces of shit!! I bet I will have to work over time all next week..and I just want to go home and crawl into bed!! I feel like I'm going to snap. I want to kill someone!!!! FUCK THIS JOB TO HELL!!!

fuck

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 11:09:50 GMT

I don't want to work anymore. I wish I didn't have to work. I'm so tired I'm sick of this shit. ha ha yea thats is all time to go to work.mondays suck!

Step Brothers

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 04:22:17 GMT

I just saw the movie Step Brothers. It was so funny!!! I laughed so hard I snorted and almost peed my pants haha. Had a nice date with my boyfriend. Can't go wrong with the dinner and a movie thing. We had nice conversations about kids which was weird..and we talked about "our kids" and he kept saying things like "when we have kids" so thats nice that he plans to keep me around for a while no kids in the near future either!

I guess thats about it..work sucks as usual..If I didn't have the weekends off I think I'd go insane..I want a better job for sure..but until then..I'll force a smile 5 days a week for this job. I really want to rant and rave more about my job sucking but I'm too tired..and I don't feel like it.

Megs I miss you email me..and haylee post more

Ugh

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 12:27:54 GMT

today is monday and while I'm glad I get to go into work late ( cause I'm taking neko to the vet) I just dont want to go to work at all..and It sucks. Everyone there is all psycho and really into the company and I'm not at all..I think they are shady and I also think they are cheap and all they care about is money and themselves. The one person that agreed they laid off and I'm really pissed about that..it sucks feeling alone there..sure I talk to people but its not like I talk to them outside of work..I dunno :( This weekend was fun and its depressing that it has to be over..work sucks balls and I HATE it. I'm sad:( and really depressed :(

My cat is pregnant...I'm pretty sure.

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 02:20:46 GMT

FUCK!!!! jeffs friends came over a few weeks back and they suck and don't care about other ppl and let my cat out...it was pitch black..obviosuly she bolted out of the door to mate..which took a whole few minnutes then she wanted back in..I was thankful she didn't run away and they cought her but WTF am I supposed to do now? I have no idea how to help birth kittens even though I worked at a vet..I never experienced that..all I can do is take her to the vet monday and make sure I'm right thats she pregnant and then get some help.. I think I feel at least 3-4 lumps in her stomach so yeah 3-4 kittens..I sorta want to keep one but I know I shouldn't but its a kitten and they are hard to just give away like that..omfg...this sucks I don't want her to get hurt or the kittens to be unhealthy I just realized today shes prob pregnant..just never occured to me she hasn't really gone into heat, but shes been really affectionate and eating more..and has lumpy things in her abdomen..this is not what I expected.

It sucks I made the vet appointment for monday to get her spayed and I'm such an idiot for noticing these symptoms...god damnit mother fuckers!!! Yeah thats it..I hate my life...I like kittens but I need homes for all of them except maybe one ..I"m so stressed out.

Work still sucks and I'm gonna have to take her to the vet monday morning hopefully my work will shut the hell up and die. If she is pregnant it can take up to 24 hours for her to have the kittens so I wonder if work will drop my health insurance because I have to be there to help birth the kittens..wtf!! omg I'm going insane..so yeah kitten anyone?

I hate the company I work for!!

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 23:31:22 GMT

Tommorow starts another crappy week of work..i like a few ppl but the higher ups such as the bosses need to die...I'm so fucking sick of them piling "projects" on other ppl because they wont hire anyone else and are to fucking lazy to do it them selves...in return ppls original job they got hired in for arne't getting done..and I need help with things and the person thats supposed to be helping me got assigned a new job...which takes up pretty much all her time helping me..and I'm fucking sick of it..I'd be happy to not do a damn thing and get paid sure...thats fine. It doesn't help that they are sending both ppl that are supposed to help me away to train in other states for two or more weeks...thats really brilliant..learn how to fucking run a company you fucking douche bags..The days drag now because nothing has gotten ordered and I don't do the ordering cause I don't have a company credit card..stupid fucks..

I work for a wealthy company thats rapidly growing. Growing too fast for their own good..they are cheap as fuck and need to hire at least two or 3 more ppl but, instead they think they are saving money by handing odd jobs to other ppl that already have stuff to do..Fucking idiots..thats going to lose them money..I can't fucking stand half the people I work with...such snobby, dumb ass, worthless people..very stupid and drama filled office, I suppose thats what happens when its 98% women in the whole company..FUCK I'm going to snap any day now.

What they don't know is that I'm a time bomb waiting to explode...they laid off a ton of ppl for the summer when all this fucking work needs to be done....CHEAP CUNTS!!! I refuse to stay later than 8 hours..I can barely stand to be in there for 1 hour..I want to just die when I'm there. They are so secretive about the process of how this company runs, and how the money is spent. I'm sorry but I want the women owners and this cheri chick to die..they are so fucking bitchy and scattered brain..they need meds way more than I do..DIE BITCHES DIE. Tommorow should be loads of fucking fun...shoot me now.

I'm sick

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 09:54:54 GMT

It feels like a cold mixed with the flu mixed with allergies. Last night I kept falling asleep during a good movie then i threw up a little and I feel so lethargic walking slow spaced out...I really don't want to work today but I need the money and the hours to make full time omg I just want to sleep all day. This weekend is fathers day..and I'm not looking forward to it I don't like my dad much. and I don't want to waste the weekend with him..if jeff does his fathers day thing saturday with his day and I do mine sunday we will have wasted our weekend together and that blows ass. I hate this shit.

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 21:44:58 GMT

Wow I really fucking hate dorothy she is a slob and a worthless piece of shit and I honestly wish she would die already no one likes her and she is a rude psycho bitch that does nothing at work except gossip about everyone else in the office for hours and I'm sure she gets paid more than most..die stupid cunt die!

*ahem*..Today I got my packet and such for health insuance and 401k if I choose to do that. I can't wait for doctors appts to cost less that 200 dollars..this world is so fucked up. I did get my anxiety/depression meds for 15 dollars at k-mart also at walmart too and maybe costco for certain drugs without insurance are cheap..I hope I feel somewhat happy again..maybe more social and less like shit. um FUCK.

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 20:10:46 GMT

I feel like shit.. i'm so broke and gas is killing me..thanks to the constuction on my daily route..omg..I hope my car last a while longer or at least until I find a higer paying job maybe I can get a loan and get newer used car..I dunno omg..I'm freaking out.

Sat, 31 May 2008 19:37:04 GMT

so jeff got laid off at his job..his full time job..so now he is working full time for his own company Vistitide comptuer solutions..so he can be at home more which is great..but I am a little worried about the $ situation but so far they are doing well.

I on the other hand am not doing so well. I went to the dentist for the first time in about a year..I have nine cavitites..all of which aren't from not brushing or lack of care..the dentist suggested I get tested for Acid Reflux disease..cause my tteeth looked like they were worn down from acid..and then he asked if I was bulemic..I know he had to ask that but..come on If I was bulemic I would be much much more skinnier. So yeah now I have to get a ton of teeth filled..and its going to cost me so much money I cried at the dentist. I suppose I could have acid reflux and not know it when I sleep..but I think my throat would hurt I dunno...I don't know how the fuck I could have that much wear on my teeth to make me have that much caviities..I brush my teeth 3 times a day...and floss onec a day to prevent having all this shit happen.

Also the Gas Prices..fuck..I can barely afford to go to work now and come home..they are also doing heavy consturction on the freeway on my way home from work..and I guess monday they are starting the other side which is on my way to work..sitting in over an hour of traffic is such a waste of gas and time..I can't do this anymore I need a new job and fast. One closer to home or that offers a bit more money...I'm stressed the hell out..I've been upset the last few days..I have to much to do that costs money

Get my cat spade
go to the dentist (4 visits)
go to the doctor (to get tested for acid reflux)
go to the gyno for my yearly pap and a new year pescription for my BC

I might be getting health insurance from work soon..but it costs money out of ever pay check..I hope I can afford it..I must ask for a raise and tell him flat out. I feel like the USA Is falling apart..food prices went up, gas prices went up, the economy is down..just blah its really depressing ..and I can't seem to get my self out of this deep depression..this sucks ass..

I hate the company I work for...

Thu, 22 May 2008 22:14:26 GMT

I found out most of the people at my work are getting bonuses some people are getting 300 dollars..I work in the back with my co-worker Lori and Chris...so they singled out 3 people...and we are not getting the bonuses cause we apparently don't make the company money...when we are the ones lifting heaving shit, sweating are asses off, we have to order the supplies needed for the company to make money..I also found out some ppl that have lower jobs than me make more than me..well guess fucking what?!?!?! I'm asking for a raise when my boss returns and until then I will find another job..FUck if I work at a fast food place I'd make more..that is my last straw though..I really hate how rude and cheap they are at my job..they pick favorites give ppl more money that don't do shit..so from now on..instead of working my ass off..I'm gonna slack I'll work for what I'm getting paid..I hope they die seriously..I need extra money.,..such as a bonus...I hate working for people who care about only money and don't care about their employees at all.. DIE FUCKERS I hope this company completely fails at life...

work rant

Sun, 11 May 2008 23:02:11 GMT

haven't been writing much lately..mostly drawing but anyways yeah work is starting really make me feel like shit..it just sucks..I feel really left out with Lori and Chris..because I'm just that insecure and I guess cause they have more important jobs than me I dunno I know its all in my head but sometimes I really feel like shit, and probably cause I take a earlier lunch then them I feel left out but I get to work at 6am..so yeah I'm hunger as fuck by 12..and chris comes to work between 10-11 cause hes salary and comes in when ever he damn well pleases and that kinda pisses me off..Lori comes in at 9ish which is fine I don't mind her she is actually hilarous but when her and chris are together I get jealous cause I dunno I want to like be part of their "clique" haha but its hard cause I'm no hygenist so I don't know anything they talk about and it sucks sometimes I go to the bathroom even though I don't have to go just so I can get away for a while cause I get that depressed and anxious about it I just need to get away. I guess thats all I can write about for now...tommorow is monday i HATE mondays. Chris will be in the office..oh joy..hes great at making one feel like they aren't good enough at anything. Lata.

shit

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 19:34:24 GMT

I need money and now..I am serioiusly so fucking desperate.

sigh

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:04:41 GMT

lately I've been feeling so horribly depressed..yesterday was jeff and I 2 year annv. I guess who really cares two years isn't really that long if u think about it but, for some reason I thought jeff would be happier about it but he wasn't..he had a whatever type of attitude..I didn't expect to get presents or anything but..I dunno it was very boring..and it kinda made me feel like shit.

What really has been bothering me for the past 3 or more months is that I am totally worthless too jeff..he hasn't told me that directly but..really what do I do, yeah I clean up a bit and do laundry..but I work, I am not going to school and I just feel useless in our relationship..God I am so jealous that Jeffs business partner 's(Jay) Girlfriend (leeona) is now the accountant for their business and she answers phones..so now she gets to be included in the dinner meetings..where they go to 5 star resturaunts..and I get left out..There was a rule before..not to hire their gf's..but she is pregnant and gonna stay home for a while.. She always gets her way..when we go to dinner with them..its what SHE wants...or when we go to the movies its what SHE wants to see..and frankly yeah I'm a little jealous..but it really pisses me off..She is a stuck up bitch..and she thinks shes better than everyone..and jay is a shitty boyfriend but he spoils her so that makes up for it..riight. I am not a business woman...sure I would't mind learning a few things but there isn't much I can do and I feel so fucking left out. I'm just the gf who is going nowhere with her life..who works full time and does laundry and cleans sometimes (but not all the time)...I don't get why jeff loves me at all. Its bothering me so much that I can' t stop bringing it up and jeff is getting annoyed and pissed off. Jeff even said to me yesterday that he knows I don't do anything but he doesn't care..that made me feel like shit..hes right I don't do anything special besides draw and I pretty much stopped doing that..

Now Leeona thinks shes so important and jeff seems to talk her up like shes important ...but he "hates" her. I dunno..I Wanted to answer phones..I never feel important or special..at all with anything in my life...no body ever tells me I'm doing a good job or that I'm worth something..except my mom..cause she is the best. I dunno..If I can't get over this I know jeff won't be able to handle it and we will break up....Maybe its cause I'm not on my anxiety meds..but maybe not...

P.s the new chocolate mix of skittles are very strong..I think they are kinda disgusting...they should just stick to fruity stuff...that is all.

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 00:20:34 GMT

Um. I love thai food. Its so damn good.

In other news the weather has been great spring is here for sure. Jeff has been working a lot on company stuff which is fine. Jeffs friend's sister i think has a little crush on Jeff..which is hilarous cause she has a no chance with him at all..even if jeff was single shes just so icky all together. He can't stand her but..she is paying his compay $ 80 and hour plus she had them buy her a new computer and one of their guys is gonna go hook it up and install everything that she wants on it haha.

I've been more tired than usual after work lately..I don't know why I'm always tired its like..no matter what time of day it is..I can fall asleep if I lay down..no problem. Work has been the same as usual..Ican get health insurance in june I think..but If its $100 out of everypay check, then its not worth it at all..I can get a good plan for $100-$150 na month..but I will have to see how much they take out of my paycheck..I make so little..maybe it goes by how much you make..lol I doubt it though..I still would like to quit this job at some point..I guess I'll just have to keep looking. I just feel like this job is not stable. I feel like something shady is going on there..and most of the people there are so annoying or bitchy. Its getting old. I guess thats about all for now.

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 16:32:52 GMT

yay finally the weather is starting to become nice. Which puts me in a happier mood. Hmm not much is going on right now..I've been feeling ill lately, my heart kinda hurts my stomach is upset I don't really know whats going on..maybe stress but who knows. Until I get insurance then I wont know. oh well. I'm gonna get ready and try and enjoy the last day of the weekend.. EW work is tommorow.

This week at work (yes another entry about work sowwy)

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 20:56:13 GMT

sorry this is really the only place I can vent about work, cause I know it gets annoying and I know I should just get another job..but its not that easy right now with the economy sucking but I'm trying.

So this week at work Sandy is gone, lucky her she is in the bahamas I think? I forgot where she went but yeah I wish I was her right now. This means I will have to put up with Dorothy for 5 whole days and come into work everyday @ 6am..I've already been warned that Dorothy is going to be a crabby bitch all week. That will put me in a horrible mood and will want to kill her..but instead of killing her..I will snap back at her this time..I'm done being quiet and letting people there use me and pile "projects" on me that are not my job..if they want to pay me more money an hour then sure I'll do your pathethic little project.. otherwise no and I will go to the boss and say so. Yeah so back to dorothy..if she makes one snappy remark to me I'm gonna give it right back to her and tell her she needs to get the stick out of her ass. I don't get why everyone at work sucks up to her..She is a BITCH no matter what you do.and yet people kiss her ass like shes something special..she does nothing for the company. Then she starts to think her shit doesn't stink because of everyone kissing her ass..EVERYONE kisses her ass and it makes me sick and it makes me hate those people..why would you be nice to someone who is a blatent cunt to everyone. Thats fucked up and I will not play that game..Treat me how you want to be treated thats how I was raised...I'm genuinly a nice and friendly person..I keep quiet to myself at work a lot cause I hate my job and all I think about while working is finding another job. If your going to be rude and nasty to me then fine, expect it back and expect to be on my shit list forever. This week its on and I'm not gonna play nice..I'm also going to march into Warrens(boss) office and explain to him that people keep giving me jobs to do and while I'm all about helping..I have my own shit to do..I really don't have time for others crap. I will explain to him that he should hire more people to help with things upfront and in the summer we need help in the back. If you expand your company, hire more people, don't dump more work on everyone..8 hours a day isn't as long as it seems.

Pizza Hut by my house is hiring..I'm almost that desperate...but I would like weekends off..and a9-5 hours LOL those are hard as fuck to find right now..I feel so stuck. Anyways thats all for now..this week should be interesting.

ar

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 01:41:12 GMT

im so stressed out..just everything gah..now today my "service engine soon" light came on..I hope its just a fluke like last time..I hate dealing with cars..i dunno.

we are supposed to get another 8 inches of snow throuout the weekend,,,I want to die..there is already 10 inches on the ground now..I guess If we get this snow...it will be a record for michigan..i don't really know..I feel like shit and blah. thats it.

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 21:04:46 GMT

god..my job is getting worse and worse..people keep grabbing me and having me help them with a "project" that takes froever and then I don't have enough time for my daily shit..and I can't go overtime or I'll get yelled at. I get paid shit and I do more then a lot of ppl there that sit at there desk and talk on their cell phones or crop pictures and I'm really getting sick of this shit. Today was hell..I had a ton to do and then Michelle needed me to help her do inventory of all her military shit..an hour before I had to leave. stupid bitch..I like her as a person..but as a co-worker she sucks. Thank god its the weekend.